the heartbreak of conservatism

GOP gotta lotta splainin' to do

remember november 2012? (and who doesn't!) back when the new buzzword in republican punditry was "outreach"? if the last two presidential elections taught them nothing else, conservatives learned that they need to channel the coming demographic tide in their direction or be swept by a horde of icky brown people into irrelevance. to that end, frustrated red-staters, sick of slogans and spin, think they can woo hard-to-get traditionally democratic voters with blunt and honest "straight talk" — that is, by "splainin'" to people (whom they'd prefer to keep ignoring) just how dense and gullible they are for not believing the grand old party has their better interests at heart. all it takes is the right message to penetrate the fog. i mean, what else could account for the inexplicable blindness of women and minorities to the grade-A 100% all-american awesomeness of the "right" wing?

1) manSplainin':

i'm no dummy. i see what i see EVERY election cycle, and what i see is the same OL' SH!T. the democrats HYPNOTIZE the females against the 'traditional old white guy' party republican candidate and IT WORKS.

i feel like this is the TOP ISSUE which republican candidates must confront, and that will require OPENLY DISCUSSING THE MANIPULATION OF FEMALES BY DEMOCRATS. [VA governor candidate ken] cuccinelli needs to proclaim "you females are smarter than subjecting yourself to being USED by the PROVEN LIAR democrats!.. DON'T FALL FOR IT. YOU FELL FOR OBAMACARE, HOOK LINE AND SINKER. YOU WERE LIED TO, LADIES, AND THEY'RE LYING TO YOU AGAIN!! THEY AREN'T WHO OR WHAT THEY SAY THEY ARE."

i'm F'ing SICK AND TIRED of watching females huddle together with marxists, totally clueless that they've put their children's futures in jeopardy in exchange for a totally bogus emotional catharsis of the moment. i cannot stand this anymore. i'm SICK of it.

2) whiteSplainin':

3) gringoSplainin':

latinos need to be taught that the democrats have been lying to them, and bankrupting the country, since before most of them were born. somebody has to pay for those free school breakfasts, and even the white billionaires don't have that much money; the money is either borrowed (and your children and grandchildren will pay it back), or it's taxed out of the pockets of working men and women. they need to be taught that the GOP way gives the workers more money because they keeps more of their wages, rather than paying more in taxes; and that the GOP way creates more jobs, and better jobs for everyone.

most of all, they need to be taught that as reagan said, the best welfare program anyone ever invented is a job. get a good job and you can buy all the education, health care, and housing you and your family will ever need. and the way to get good jobs is to get the democratic party's enormous government out of the way, and let entrepreneurs create the jobs.

[democrats] pander to them with the same lame promises they dupe the african americans with.... hope that we can get enough votes to redistribute all the advantages your way.

the flood gates were left open and now we must deal. i agree the black vote will not leave obama so the latin vote looms a bigger prize. as conservatives we MUST start to court the ideas of family and religion to this voting block. when the latinos wake up to the fact that the liberal mind wants to crush their spirituality they will revolt. i say just run some bill maher episodes on secularism as your ad campaign....

republicans need to quit playing defense. they need to find a couple of good telegenic spanish speakers who will go on telemundo and univision look straight into the camera and ask — "we're just wondering ... are latins the new blacks?"

4) gentileSplainin':

when asked how the [messianic jewish bible institute] managed to secure [former president george w.] bush to keynote its fundraiser, [alisa] stephenson [MJBI director of events and partner relations] cited its track record of drawing influential speakers, pointing to the appearance by [right wing ideologue glenn] beck.

at last year's event, members of the MJBI's board of directors explained the organization's mission of converting jews to an audience of hundreds who were seated on a professional football field, wearing formal clothes, and eating pork barbecue. rabbi jonathan bernis, a leading messianic jew and televangelist who chairs MJBI's board of directors, maintained that "our numbers are growing and growing," because "the bible predicted that the day would come when the blindness would come off the eyes of the people it all began with." he was referring to jews.

the first step towards solving any problem is, of course, admitting that the problem exists. as far as the GOP's concerned, the problem isn't that the party's constructed a series of strawmen, scapegoats and bogeymen to serve as red meat and chew toys for its shrinking reactionary base. no, the real problem is getting all those icky strawmen, scapegoats and bogeymen to agree that they're idiots for not voting republican. but something tells me, however, that their hearts just aren't into it — or you.

the fluke contraception deception

the numbers are out and in a surprise to no one but conservatives, it turns out that women do not like being called "sluts":

the biggest change came among women under 50. in mid-february, just under half of those voters supported obama. now more than six in 10 do while romney's support among them has dropped by 14 points, to 30%. the president leads him 2-1 in this group.

republicans' traditional strength among men "won't be good enough if we're losing women by nine points or 10 points," says sara taylor fagen, a republican strategist and former political adviser to president george w. bush. "the focus on contraception has not been a good one for us ... and republicans have unfairly taken on water on this issue." (usa today/gallup)

"unfairly"? well, cry me a river ... one which appears to be roaring right through our favorite wingnut watering hole free republic, where you will never find a more wretched hive of chauvinism and misogyny.

and they're wond'ring where all the wimmenfolk went ...

unfortunately, to some women, especially single ones, government is daddy, husband, lover and provider all rolled up into one. (scottinVA)

but isn't that the model wingnut family? (cue "dueling banjos")

women are "wired" that way.

the 'rats and their mentor, satan, knew what they were doing when they destroyed the support structure called "marriage" and "family".

the title should say "boosted by SINGLE AND DIVORCED women voters..." (mrB)

bingo - a lot of the women i know politically are mostly selfish, self centered, ditzes who only care about abortion, birth control, etc. (glockThe Vote)

translation: "they didn't wanna touch my glock!"

why do they keep calling these free contraceptives? someone is paying for them. and are rat women so gullible that they'll vote for a guy who is killing us at the pump, thermostat, grocery store and job market - not to mention the little matter of national security, just to get "free" birth control??? (aria)

if these women don't like romney they sure as heck aren't going to vote for santorum. obama's little birth control scheme seems to be working. i think republicans need to do some intense opposition research into obama's donors. the candidates need to start talking about all the dirt that's been coming out on him. make him look like the crooked chicago politician that he is. (jersey117)

riiiiiight. because in four years nobody's tried that yet ...

the social issues bs makes me want to scream. birth control? FNG really???

women voters in general are easily scammed. (glockThe Vote)

that they are. i'm here to tell you — they're buying this issue hook, line, and sinker. bunches of women i know are convinced that EVIL republicans have only one agenda ...and that is to make birth control ILLEGAL in this country.

i kid you not. they are convinced. rational, otherwise intelligent women. this flat out LIE has worked like a charm.

but, who is surprised. america has and is going down due to this very issue at the heart of it. we've contracepted ourselves so much that we've had to import workers. we have aborted so many we dont' have a tax paying base anymore to support all the elderly OR the freeloading immigrants. radical feminism has done its trick on this country ...and continues to do so, destroying marriage, family, and a strong moral base. why be surprised? many women are in love with themselves and their own power and new-found freedom to screw up their lives with oblivion. (libsRJerks)

repeal the 19th amendment. (sharpRightTurn)

sure glad we gave them the vote. (dagogo redux)

because women vote for appeals to emotion. that is the democrat party's specialty. (longbow1969)

and the GOP's specialty? appeals to idiocy ...

young single women want to go on killing their unborn babies. and now they really believe evil republicans are going to completely ban contraception. the fluke contraception deception worked perfectly. (protectOurFreedom)

tricking rush into a three-day tirade was the easy part. tricking wingnuts into defending him? actually, that was easy too ...

woman — being fooled by snakes since the garden. (bmwcyle)

the "war on women" paying dividends.

dems would never win without the woman voter advantage. (tigerClaws)

alas, the unfairness of it all ...

it won't matter -- those ideological women voters are blind to everything except what they want to see, their "vision". by teasing up reproductive issues, obozo is rattling their chains, they just don't know it.

giving women the vote was a civilizational mistake that will kill the republic. women don't want anything like what men do from government, and the republic was constructed around a male electorate. women's brain processes make them the very, very last people anyone anywhere should want next to the levers of republican government, and that's even allowing for real exceptions like margaret thatcher and sarah palin.

overeducated, barren, man-hating democrat women will turn america into a despotate, and then a wasteland -- like something out of hellboy. (lentulusgracchus)

unlike the patriarchal heaven-on-earth that is saudi arabia, or even afghanistan, eh, lentulus?

now i'm pretty sure that free republic, every dittohead's little patch of heaven on the internet, is by no means men-only. i'm pretty sure freeperville has some members that at least have claimed to be female. i'm pretty sure i can remember reading the praises of these culture-war-hardened survivalists for the fierceness and independence of their mothers, mates and daughters. so where are all the wimmenfolk? none showed up today, or more certainly, no one either female or male showed up to crash this little meeting of the "he-man women haters club":

so if not unfettered misogyny, what kind of hate speech proves simply too intolerable for the neanderthals on this thread?

cut it out psycho. santorum can’t be blamed for splitting the vote, but we know who polls lower than rick with women and he is the one with the second fewest delegates.

so cut the hate. (dforest)

... just leave little ricky alooooone!

can't be too picky

i'm hopeful that this entire scandal will fade, but i'm also braced for the worst: i don't care much about any kind of sexual misdeeds myself at this moment:

STOP THE RAPE OF THE TAXPAYER! STOP THE RAPE OF THE BORDER! STOP THE RAPE OF OUR HEALTH CARE SYSTEM!

i don't think perry or romney are all that concerned about the BIG rapes of our entire freaking NATION! so even if cain were a serial rapist, i'd still support the man. heck! no brainer so far as i'm concerned. we can't afford to be too picky when 90% of our political pros prostitute themselves.

quote of the day

via hardcore conservative watering hole free republic, "attorney for cain accuser says ‘series’ of incidents prompted complaint":

every male i've ever worked with could have a sexual harassment suit filed against him. Every Single One....

except me....

the patriarchy has you

wake up, colluders!

(art by tatsuya ishida, h/t pz myers)

dating tips fer wimmen

perpetual lonely guy and now-immortalized la fitness club shooter george sodini helpfully explains how women can avoid falling prey to a serial killer.

... women bring this onto themselves. they actually create the guy to kill 'em. and they are too dense to see that they are creating the guy to kill 'em. ... women are so picky, so choosy, when it comes to the dating scene or bein' with somebody that, first look, it's over! ... even a fat ugly woman gets a guy. why? because a guy has more of a heart than a woman'll ever have. ... women are purposely, willingly and knowingfully forcing guys into loneliness. an' walkin' round with their heads all high because they know they'll never be alone. it's like one woman told me: "oh, good luck, you're gonna be alone for years. nobody wants someone like you. you're too short!" ... then you women want to complain when a guy flips out and kills ya? well y'know, a guy like that, if you wanted to have a one night stand, you know how you get it? get a gun out — and force it. because you couldn't get it any other way. ... it's just like me watching this show the one day, it was like, forensic files, seen a woman killed. wow! inside i felt happy. was like: huh? that's crazy — i shouldn't be happy just cause this girl gets killed. but i was. and i know why i was happy. i thought about it awhile. it's not that i wanted to go out and do it, but i know why i was happy. i was happy cause it felt good to see a woman get killed. why did it feel good to see a woman get killed? well, they denied me my life all them years, they're denying these other guys their life for no reason at all. we didn't do anything to you, but we're not allowed to have a life because you deny us that. so now the guy flips out and kills the woman — just like she denied him a life, he's denying her a life. he takes her life literally. she's actually better off bein' dead. why? because him, he gets to suffer. he gets to go home, still be alone, still be alone, still be alone. cry, feel all the emotions. y'know, all the emotions and feelings you women don't think guys have. ... use your heads. everybody's a human. everybody deserves somebody. god did say: he put women on this earth with man so that everybody — everybody — could have a mate. and now you women, just like eve did, she picked the apple when god said not to. so what do you women do? you run over there and pick the apple. and now what're you doin'? you're destroyin' it. god said everybody'd have a mate and what did you do? you made sure not everybody had a mate, didn't you? why? i guess because your daddy's satan? well, that's what it must be. because you're evil. and if you wasn't evil, why would you do this to another human being, for no reason at all? think about that: why would you do this to another human being, for no reason at all? why would you treat them like dirt for no reason at all? and then complain when you get killed?

there goes the female vote

first, of course, it was the hispanics. but you knew the ladies were not long behind, didn't you?

from unreconstituted watergate ghoul and all-around professional creep g. gordon liddy:

let's hope that the key conferences aren't when [sotomayor's] menstruating or something, or just before she's going to menstruate. that would really be bad. lord knows what we would get then.

looks like they've whittled themselves down to the cranky old bald white guy vote now. and they've already lost jesse.

stay classy, gop.

update: gallup and quinnipiac break down the numbers ...

attitudes towards sotomayor nomination
Gallup	D men	D women	R men	R women
excellent/good	65%	70%	19%	33%
only fair/poor	20%	16%	63%	43%
NET	46%	54%	-44%	-11%
Quinnipiac	D men	D women	R men	R women
approve	79%	80%	18%	31%
disapprove	5%	4%	57%	40%
NET	74%	76%	-39%	-9%

looks like the daughters of the revolution aren't quite in the mood for the 24/7 republican hate fest. must be that time of the month.

bitter

passionate oaths nonwithstanding, i wouldn't advise mcsame™ to hold his breath for a massive clinton spoiler contingent come november:

walking up to the marriott, i kept waiting to encounter the huge protest. after all, the protest organizers were predicting a crowd of 10,000 (including the mccain and huckabee crew), but it's much, much, much smaller than [that] — couple hundred, maybe. (and, maybe the other 9,700 protesters have arrived since i came inside the hotel.) — joe sudbay, americablog

and for anyone that thinks this is going to the convention in any meaningful way, look at the pathetically small size of the pro-clinton demonstrations outside the hotel in dc today. tens of thousands had been promised. a few hundred showed up. clinton’s convocatory power for those kinds of shenanigans is already done. all these weeks of threats and tantrums have proved lame. and more evidence of that is coming in the next 72 hours. — al giordano, rural votes