Thursday, May 29, 2008

how to sell obama to a racist

so, does barack obama have an "appalachia problem"? maybe ...

... or maybe not, with a little reverse psychology:

... he started to get excited about obama. he said, "whoever the next president is, the economy is screwed up, so he's going to have to deal with that and probably fail. if obama is president, everyone will see he's just like every other president. he'll let his supporters down in some ways, and screw up, and change and negotiate with republicans who his supporters all hate. and all the blacks who said they wanted a black president will see what it's like to have 'your' president let you down."

i said right, in the end obama will be just another president, who gets some things right and other things wrong. but, i said, afterwards we'll be living in a post-president-obama world, and no one will ever be able to say that america is so racist we won't let minorities rise to the top.

he said, "yeah, and the naacp will have to close up!"

i said they probably won't close, but they will change. i said everything will change, because it has to.

he said that he was really thinking about voting for obama now, for the first time. he said he had never heard a reason to vote for him before that made sense, but "making the naacp go away is a real thing that could happen. how can they justify their existence when the president is black? and how can al sharpton pretend he's a black leader, when the black leader will be the president ... ?"

go read the whole thing. it sounds like something out of monty python.

in fact, i'm already envisioning a sequel ...

THE DATE: january 21, 2009

THE SCENE: a large outdoor prison labor camp, manned on its perimeters by doberman-walking, heavily-armed, aviator-shaded, afro-&-sideburn-sporting, toothpick-chewing, purple revolution-jumpsuited soul-brothers. behind barbed-wire, under the hot sun, bent over rows of cotton, wretched white slaves toil in close chains as strains of parliament funkadelic waft out of the guard towers.

under their breath the white slaves bitch and bemoan their fate. one slave curses himself for being stupid enough to get tricked into voting for barack obama by a co-worker at the post office. enraged at the confession, someone throttles him with his own chains. the guards fire into the air and bark for order as the slaves scatter and the victim's last spasms subside ...

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