still struggling to come out

as everyone knows, second to the initial struggle with accepting an identity that conflicts with the mainstream (especially an antagonistic mainstream), is the painful exodus of even longtime friends unwilling to accompany much less support the journey:

i never post on free republic, although i come here everyday, but something has been bothering me and i'm not exactly sure how to handle it.

ever since his holiness obama has made his gay marriage proclamation, my facebook feed has been inundated by posts from my gay friends about it.

i haven't responded to any of the posts, because i know it would be go over well. none of my friends responses by others has been anything except positive (from the gay point of view).

i'm smart enough to know that not everyone believes in gay marriage, and the ones who feel as i do just don't want to get involved because they don't feel the hassle is worth it.

my issue is that i'm sick to death reading those idiotic posts day after day. i'm fed up and I WILL respond eventually, but when i do, i want to do so calmly, and in a way where i won't come across as a homophobe. i know when i respond i'll lose at least half my gay friends, which sucks, but that's life i guess.

does anyone have suggestions on how i could respond civily? i tend to think i'll leave religion out of it, because i want to come across rationally, and when religion gets into the mix, rationality goes out the window instantly.

i apologize for the lame post, i'm extremely new at this.

— "sporke"

well, that is a painful dilemma, isn't it?

while i'm sure "sporke" isn't the first homophobe to struggle with coming out of the closet, to those taking their first steps, it often feels that way. but whom better to turn to for rational guidance than the "guns-god-and-country"-loving patriots at the wingnut waterhole free republic?

i must admit to my own struggle just sifting out the gold from this rich vein of wingnut wisdom. the first response pretty much summed up the practical advice:

are they real life friends, or FB friends?

if the latter....just unfriend them! no matter WHAT you say...they’ll label you a phobe anyway.

or, say your peace and THEN "unfriend" them.

if the former? they should already know how you feel.

my 2 cents....

— "brad's gramma"

dr. lecter suggests staying in the closet:

anything you say can, and most certainly will, be used against you on facebook. best to leave it be.

— "helloooClareece"

unfortunately there is no response they would consider civil. it's there way or the highway.

BTW the vast majority of people of all ages highly disapprove of the gay agenda.

this has been repeatedly born out by popular elections.

— "cyberSpartacus"

which BTW explains why there are no openly gay elected officials ...

i'm so glad i came across this post, i have been struggling with this as well. i have been trying to compose a response in my head and couldn't quite figure out how to respond to some posts.

after reading what other people have commented, i have decided that they are right and there is nothing you can say that won't make you sound "evil" for disagreeing.

at least we have somewhere to go with like minded people. :-)

— "mrsadams"

it may not be facebook, but sporke's making and helping new friends already!

i have lots of gay friends on facebook and those who vehemently support them. their primary reason for supporting gay marriage is that they hate the dogmatic intolerance of the religious right trying to dictate to them how they should live and what they should believe. in their attempt to sway us away from our beliefs and doctrines for its intolerance, they often display the most hateful,vicious intolerance themselves for those with whom they disagree. the hypocrisy is lost on them. do not trouble yourself to respond.

— "erkyl"

we like our intolerance just fine, thank you!

the only reason homosexuality is wrong is because god said so.

— "donna"

which, until god changes his mind, should be good enough for everyone!

... you could also point out to your gay friends that they already have the right to marry—everyone does as long as they marry someone of the opposite sex. gay people CHOOSE not to exercise these rights. they aren’t denied anything. they want special privileges. why should two able-bodied gay men who can work their whole lives without ever producing children together get special privileges?

— "dupree"

and up to now i thought that this talking point was universally recognized even by wingnuts for the cynical absurdist joke it is. apparently, not everyone is in on it.

i don’t have any "gay" friends, wouldn’t associate with anyone gay, won’t work with anyone gay (that i’m aware of) because my views are well known on the subject and folks know exactly where i stand.

— "maddog55"

well, alrighty then — problem solved! forever!

(cross-posted at daily kos)

no true scotsman

if conservative republicans worry that they may have come out smelling less like roses and more like cavemen after three closely-watched debates in the national spotlight, they shouldn't be: those weren't real republicans™ we were watching after all:

i don't know what small group in the crowd did it — but conservatives DON'T boo soldiers. booing soldiers is a progressive thing, not ours. i don't give a damn what sexual orientation he is. it was a horrible demonstration, that will be used against our side in worse ways than the cheering at ron pauls "let him die" reply from the 2nd debate or the jerry springer audience that snuck in and loudly cheered executions ...

by navyCanDo

for all we know the booing could have been done by [democratic national committee] plants because the leftmedia is using it to validate their vicious lie that 'republicans hate gays' (and, as they often add, anyone not white, heterosexual and christian). since i doubt the election will turn on who gets the homosexual vote this is not terribly important but it demonstrates the abject fear the left has of the tea party. they are pulling out all the stops to defame the tea party folks and convince americans they are a bunch of KKK-style haters that want to shove christianity down the throats of americans. that is insane and a palpable lie but the left is getting desperate as they see the nation slowly turning on obama and threatening to dismantle the socialist structure the left has carefully built over the past 70 years. look for lots of this 'republicans hate...(fill in the minority group) rhetoric in the weeks to come.

by jim scott

maybe so ... maybe real republicans™ don't really hate anybody (at least not "KKK-style") ... but unfortunately "navyCanDo" and "jim scott" seem to be two of the few true scotsmen on that page:

i was booing the policy and the question.

by buddhaBrown

he is doing [nothing?] but causing problems for the real Men that are serving My Country.

by easternsky

he didn't need to say he was gay,
he sure didn't.

it was quite obvious that he was a poofer.

by retired greyhound

the soldier had to make the point that he was a fag. why?
i wish there had been a candidate who told him off for wearing his perversion on his sleeve.

by buccaneer81

... he didn't have to mention that he was gay. he could have just asked the question. if you want the audience to shut up and not react, perhaps he should have shut up and not announced it. that works both ways ...

by netizen

... the question had no purpose other than to be another homosexual "in your face" moment. the boo was justified.

by throwback

"throwback" ... heh.

gays in the military is an incremental step in destroying the family, and implementing state control of how children are raised. read the communist manifesto ...

by clock king

"the soldier had to make the point that he was a fag. why?"

because exhibitionism and recruiting and brainwashing the youngsters are the top goal of all homosexuals.

by geronL

persoanlly, i could care less if people want to boo an activist faggot soldier.

by lancey howard

kind of a dilemma, a soldier defending america who is hellbent on destroying it.

by upsdriver

a dilemma for morons, yes.

it's irrelevant what the fag said. let him throw out his san [fran] lib BS and let the candidate handle it. i don't see the need for the audience to react like we are all in harlem watching a movie in the theater ...

by lazlo in PA

hmm ... i can't tell if that last one was a scotsman.

---

bonus quote, via talkingpointsmemo:

back in orlando, TPM asked gary johnson — who scored his first slot on a debate stage in quite a while thursday — if the crowds at the GOP debates were meaner than he's seen before. past audiences have given raucous applause to the concept of 234 executions and praised the idea of letting the uninsured die.

johnson, who is not a social conservative, opposes the death penalty and supports the repeal of don't ask, don't tell, said that the angrier members of the audiences at the debates are not the whole of the GOP.

"in my opinion, when you have booing this is not indicative of republicans," he said. "this is not the republican party that i belong to."

(h/t john cole @ balloon juice)