if i only had a brain

birther:

i wouldn't while away the hours connectin' shady powers and wondrin' who's to gain and my head i'd stop a-scratchin' itchy plots it keeps a-hatchin' if i only had a brain ♫ i'd scoff at every riddle from every individ'le intol'rant or insane ♫

obama:

with the time you'd stop a-wastin' a real life you could be tastin' if you only had a brain ♫

birther:

oh, i wouldn't wonder why no judge will hear my roar i'd stop thinkin' things no one's thunk before and then i'd go and do some chores ♫ i would not be just a-huffin' my head all full of stuffin' my heart all full of pain i'd sober up and tell orly a new hobby she needs sorely if i only had a brain ♫

(transformative lyrics by aarrgghh)