Tuesday, February 17, 2009

certifigate: a grand opening!

hear ye! hear ye! attention all natural-born™ constitution-loving citizens of this free republic!

national grand jurywhen in the course of stalled litigation and disagreeable judgments, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the judicial bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's god entitle them, a decent respect to the injured sensibilities of all usurper-hating patriots and the famished purses of the counselors who succor them requires that they should declare the formation of their own independent judiciary body:

national grand jury declaration
february 15, 2009

pursuant to first amendment (the right of the people peaceably to assemble), the ninth amendment (the enumeration in the constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people), and the tenth amendment to the constitution for the united states of america (the powers not delegated to the united states by the constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people), this national grand jury is convened by natural born citizens of the fifty several states and of the united states of america, seating 50 jurors pursuant to the duties, powers, responsibilities, qualifications as established hereunder for the following purposes:

  • to examine all aspects of the federal government by initiating its own investigations.

  • to serve as ombudsmen for the citizens of the country in respect to constitutional rights. and privileges established under the organic documents of the united states of america, as properly amended from time to time.

  • to conduct criminal investigations of members of the federal government, and, if the evidence is sufficient, issue criminal indictments.


the national grand jury process

... the national grand jury shall review the officers of the federal government to determine whether they are constitutionally qualified to hold office, and to determine if their actions and behavior are consistent with stated objectives of the declaration of independence, constitution for the united states of america as properly amended, and the criminal law as recognized in any of the several states.


requirements to become a grand juror

national grand juror candidates must meet all of the following qualifications:

  • be a natural born citizen of the united states (born in one of the fifty states of the united states to parents both of whom were u.s citizens and resident in the united states at that time).

  • be at least 18 years old.

  • be a resident of the state that the juror represents for at least one year immediately prior to selection.

  • exhibit intelligence, sound judgment, and good character.

  • cannot have been convicted of malfeasance in office, any felony or other high crime.

  • cannot be serving as a public official.

hmm ... item 1 would disqualify mccain, though i doubt too many freepers would be disappointed. in fact, item 4 would disqualify most if not all freepers and without exception all certifigaters ...

grand jury selection process

there shall be 50 members of the grand jury with 50 alternates. candidates are to be selected from a pool of nominees who shall submit their nomination to the nominating committee. nominees will be appointed by the affirmative vote of the nominating committee, who shall base their nomination on the following criteria expressed in priority:

first - an affidavit of qualification where the nominee asserts that the nominee:

  • is intelligent (demonstrating the ability to read and to write), uses sound judgment (exhibits ability to reason) and is a person of good character (does not engage in misconduct, interpersonal attacks, foul language or disruptive behavior);

  • can and will render decisions according to the rule of law without prejudice or bias

this part probably needs amending:

  • is intelligent (demonstrating the ability to read and to write), uses sound judgment (exhibits ability to reason) and is a person of good character (does not engage in misconduct, interpersonal attacks, foul language or disruptive behavior towards "certifigaters");

  • can and will render decisions according to the rule of law without prejudice or bias against "certifigaters"

there! all fixed! so when do we get started?

the federal grand jury will be held virtually on the internet with a central location to be decided for when physical meetings are required. mr. pidgeon also hints that there will be those who would be willing to enforce any finding that is to come out of a federal grand jury.

it is expected that the federal grand jury’s mission will be completed by the end of summer, 2009, sometime after a continental congress is held. this initiative is expected to be fully spearheaded by mr. pidgeon.

oh most excellent! a cyber jury! with cyber police! agent smith, i can't wait! bring forth the contestants!

the requirements are even stricter than that required of the president!

that said, i could easily qualify for about 99% of them. (i do have a tendency to let a well vocalized “swear word” pass my lips when the occasion calls for it-that might disqualify me.) where do you sign up??!! ; )


exhibit intelligence, sound judgment, and good character.
that excludes all lawyers.

would that include declaration author steve pidgeon, as well as phil berg, orly taitz and the rest of the certifigate brain trust?

... having folks produce their birth certificate along with the birth certificate of their parents should be easy enough to do and for the folks to provide. i can produce mine and those of my parents.

as long as they check out with polarik and techdude, you're in, citizen!

this is either a very cool idea, or someone is feeling extremely self-important. sounds like quasi-government/within-yet-outside-government/cum posse commitatus/extralegal quixotic windmill tilting, and will be perceived as such (if it ever reaches any appreciable levels of public perception at all).

but then, i could be wrong. hope so.

i'm sensing you're not fully on board the love train, citizen. next!

true. that could be the downside. in the wrong hands it could easily turn into a "people’s tribunal" kinda thing. that would be my only reservation about it.

i find your lack of faith in the "people" disturbing, citizen. next!

true. that could be the downside. in the wrong hands it could easily turn into a "people’s tribunal" kinda thing. that would be my only reservation about it.
i think it's about time for one.

ding! ding! ding! i believe we've found our first juror!

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