southern man

with four dead cops and one dead mental patient to add to the blowback from his clemencies, mike huckabee's going to be lucky if he thinks he'll be able to hang onto his fox gig, much less his dreams of the presidency:

mike huckabee said [sunday] it's "less likely than more likely" that he'll run for president in 2012. recent polling has shown him to be the most popular candidate among iowa republicans, but huckabee told chris wallace on fox new sunday today that polling isn't the only factor. ... huckabee said he's enjoying his current gig as a fox news host, and wants to see what the political climate is like heading into 2012. "a lot of it depends on how the elections turn out next year and whether roger ailes continues to like my show on the weekends," huckabee said. "and if all those things factor in, you know, it's less likely than more likely, just because i would have to see that the republicans would be willing to unite behind me."

i imagine that law enforcement and victims' rights interest groups would dog his campaign trail the same way firefighters dogged rudy giuliani during his ill-starred run. no one will have huck's back on this.

minnesota gov. tim pawlenty became the first likely GOP presidential candidate to criticize mike huckabee's pardon of a suspected killer during his time as arkansas's governor. pawlenty said that he would not have granted clemency to maurice clemmons, who was suspected of fatally shooting four police officers in washington state on sunday before being shot and killed by police in seattle tuesday morning.

it looks like the party that's got nothing going for it but the south may be unable to field a native son for 2012. incredible as it seems, the available pool of southern white christian men for a spot on anyone's 2012 ticket is drying up like spent chaw. has that ever happened since the united states expanded into the southern territories?

southern white christian heads will explode.

deathtrap fail

while it shall be always true that no matter what nefarious plans the nazi ghoul has in store for his fair captive, he will never complete them before the good captain and faithful bucky can stop him ... nonetheless one could still make the argument that no matter how fast the villain can saw through that rope, he probably could just plunge his knife directly into her even faster.

(art by jack kirby and syd shores)

the only constant in their universe

mark levin:	there is a road to tyranny, and i believe we're headed on that road ...
glenn beck:	fascism is coming!
unidentified:	intimidation is yet another part of the slow erosion of our liberties.
mark levin:	they want the population to surrender their liberties to the government ...
yaron brook:	you're in very dangerous water to the freedoms that exist in this country.
glenn beck:	and controlling your life ... !
michelle bachman:	i believe that there is a very strong chance that we will see that young people will be put into mandatory service ... and the real concern is that there are provisions for what i would call re-education camps for young people, where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward ...
sean hannity:	keep it up, congresswoman, you're doing a great job, and, uh, i have no doubt that they will keep attacking you 'cause you're so effective. thank you for being with us. we appreciate it.
michelle bachman:	thank you, we're gonna fight for our freedom!
sean hannity:	absolutely — against tyranny!

since the great summer of our malcontents a great many pixels have been spent on the unimpeded descent of the republican party into self-perpetuated paranoia and terror.

most of us readily recognize their screeching obstructionism as a coldly calculated form of aversion therapy designed to induce a reflexive nausea in the voting public at the very mention of each and every word and deed of their new liberal overlords. but that's just their election strategy for 2010. as i pointed out in "not just obama", republican hostility can be traced to their long-standing and wholehearted denial of legitimacy and fitness to any leaders not proudly swearing fealty to so-called "conservative principles" even patron saint ronaldus magnus could not uphold.

upon further reflection, i think the paranoia in particular erupts from a place fundamentally ingrained within the conservative psyche. an all-encompassing paranoia is the inevitable response to the acceptance of conservatism as an outlook on life or philosophy.

what is the essence of conservatism at its core, when stripped of the emperor's clothes? it is a dedication to the preservation of the status quo against the forces of change. and what is the only constant in the universe, as the saying goes? that's right, it's change, which i guess makes paranoia the only constant in the republican universe. who wouldn't be crippled by dread with the very laws of the universe arrayed against them?

thus conservatives struggle, in a futile battle they can never ever win. on their side, a homogeneous, aging, shrinking, increasingly unpleasant and disconnected and ultimately dying base that is less interested in recruiting fresh troops than in purging its few remaining heretics. across the battlefield, a younger, diverse, tolerant and growing army untainted by bitter memories of the cold war of the 50's or the culture wars of the 60's, 70's and 80's, for whom the terms liberal, far left, socialist, marxist and communist don't trigger a pavlovian release of the contents of their bladders. for conservatives, time will never be on their side.

bon appétit!

for thanksgiving, a comics blast from the past from 1983's "mutant world", by richard corben, underground master of form, shadow, light, color, direction, sheer fantasy and, especially here, existential horror:

(art by richard corben, story by jan strnad)

bigger than god

it's official: irs + secret service + homeland security > god:

wiley drake lifts call for 'imprecatory prayer' against president obama a former southern baptist convention officer who made headlines in june when he said on national radio that he was praying for barack obama to die now says he wants to see the president live long enough to stand trial for treason. ... wiley drake, pastor of first southern baptist church in buena park, calif., issued a press release nov. 19 calling for an end to "imprecatory prayer" — words of judgment from the book of psalms prayed back to god, directed toward obama. drake said he is now "calling for all of god's people and prayer warriors to cease the imprecatory prayer, and pray for mr. obama's protection until he can be properly tried for treason." drake attributed his change of heart to "spiritual counsel" of james david manning, pastor at atlah world missionary church in new york, contained in a 16 1/2-minute video recorded nov. 18. "i have asked men everywhere please do you no harm," manning said in remarks he addressed to "barack hussein the long-legged mack daddy obama." according to the merriam-webster online dictionary, "mack daddy" is slang for a slick womanizer or conspicuously successful pimp. "i do not want to see anyone attempt, dream about, think about or ever discuss assassinating you," manning continued. "it is most important to you and to my savior jesus that you live, and that you live a long life, but that you live that we might be able to bring you to trial. you see if someone does you harm, and you are not able to be brought to trial, then we lose the opportunity of proving our statements that you are not the president of the united states of america. you are not. you are an illegal alien, a usurper." manning preached a series of harsh sermons last year against then-candidate obama that prompted americans united for the separation of church and state to ask the irs to investigate him for violating rules governing tax-exempt charities against electioneering. he says he was visited by officials from the department of homeland security after a recent video message in which he advised people who strongly oppose obama to "be ready to die." drake, who was second vice president of the southern baptist convention in 2006-2007, said he was also questioned in his home by the secret service after he said in a fox news radio interview june 2 with alan colmes that he was praying for obama to die. ... drake, a third-party candidate for vice president from the american independent party on the california ballot in the 2008 presidential election, recently lost a round in an ongoing legal battle challenging the legitimacy of obama's presidency. u.s. district judge david carter dismissed a lawsuit filed by drake and other plaintiffs oct. 29, saying the constitution does not give federal courts, but only congress, the authority to remove a sitting president.

(hat tip to dr. conspiracy)

no, you can't have it back

voted for george bush?

twice?

proud of it?

then stop yer bitchin!

chester's ghouls

one of my favorite books growing up was the comics anthology "the celebrated cases of dick tracy: 1931-1951":

(the first panel of the first strip featuring chester gould's iconic flatfoot)

even at 300-plus pages, celebrated cases had been heavily edited for space and violence. several decades passed before i got to see some of the outtakes of one story in particular, reprinted in full in "the dick tracy casebook: favorite adventures 1931-1990" (which i'd found on ebay for a penny). what follows are some strips from both books, reconstructing tracy's 1944 clash with sadistic nazi spy the brow. it was definitely one of his more grisly adventures, which spanned four months and also introduced us to the summer sisters (may and june) and gravel gertie:

let's fast forward to the "ironic" ending left out of celebrated cases:

remember, ladies:

(story and art by chester gould)

pure wipeout

this past weekend i had a chance to tackle a project that had been sitting on the bottom of my priority list for a few years: recording video from my playstation portable.

while i don't spent a lot of time with games (and the device was a gift), there is one game that i've played at least once almost every day for the last four years. wipeout pure is perfect for someone who feels a little guilty anytime they're not doing something productive. it's a racing game with no learning curve and even simpler controls: left, right, thrust, use weapon, absorb weapon (recharge energy) and reverse camera (look behind). weapons and speed bursts are picked up from special pads on the track. each race consists of up to five laps of about thirty seconds each, making the game perfect for playing while waiting for my computer to finish presumably more important tasks.

unfortunately, while it supports video, there's no way to record activity on the psp and even though the latest model now sports a video-out port, the new port only supports hdtv monitors, and according to reports, does so poorly for games. i don't have an hdtv and it's been several years since i've turned on a tv anyway. (who needs to when you can get the highlights online?)

so, two quick trips to home depot and about an hour of tinkering produced this contraption:

it's cobbled from four corner braces, a length of pre-punched metal sawn into three pieces, and a bunch of nuts, bolts and washers. a somewhat rickety affair, but it doesn't have to hold more than 20 ounces while resting on my lap and belly. despite now having to play at a distance, the only thing that took getting used to was playing the psp without its custom case:

the psp is not for the ham-handed, but logitech's playGear pocket clear transparent hardcase (which i affectionately dubbed "the casket" and into whose upper inner liner i cut a "glory hole", shown above, for displaying the screen while closed) gives you more to hold onto and more room for your thumbs, which results in a more natural grip. playing games without it always feels cramped.

what follows is one lap around "sol 2", a 4400m racetrack suspended 30,000ft among sun-splashed clouds and air traffic. the video quality does no justice to either the psp's famous crisp bright screen or wipeout's world-class game environment and special effects. the action recorded includes a "quake" weapon (a devastating wave of destruction), rockets, mines and a bomb dropped in my face. (the soundtrack is my own substitution. in fact, i always play with the audio off.)

but the real reason behind recording wipeout was to capture for posterity a little move i discovered on the sol 2 track. wipeout doesn't give the player any opportunity to move beyond the track, but i found a way to push the upper envelope just a little, with some help from the "booster" weapon.

unlike most of wipeout's 16 tracks, sol 2 is unwalled for part of its length, right before a steep drop-off. the only small bit of retaining wall in that section is sloped, presenting the racer with a tempting small ramp. firing up a "booster" while racing up the wall will send you sailing high above the track and the other racers:

oops. unfortunately, using the retaining wall itself as a ramp is often a mistake; it can send you into the clouds nose-up and sky-blind, unable to see where to land if you don't sail past the upper bounds of the track into oblivion. (actually, contrary to my melodramatic editing, leaving the track is not fatal; your ship is merely returned to the spot where it was three seconds prior, penalizing you that time.)

experience taught me to aim instead for the space between the ramp and the guy wire. (the space on the opposite side of the guy wire, out on the "wing" structure, will also work, but you're now skirting the outer bounds of the track.)

here's another vault, with a quick peek behind us at the top of our leap:

remember folks, you saw it here first!

a great escape

since a child, i've always been quite impressed with this one, from batman #227, "the demon of gothos mansion":

the money shot:

(art by irv novick and dick giordano, cover by neal adams and dick giordano, story by denny o'neill)

if i only had a brain

birther:

i wouldn't while away the hours connectin' shady powers and wondrin' who's to gain and my head i'd stop a-scratchin' itchy plots it keeps a-hatchin' if i only had a brain ♫ i'd scoff at every riddle from every individ'le intol'rant or insane ♫

obama:

with the time you'd stop a-wastin' a real life you could be tastin' if you only had a brain ♫

birther:

oh, i wouldn't wonder why no judge will hear my roar i'd stop thinkin' things no one's thunk before and then i'd go and do some chores ♫ i would not be just a-huffin' my head all full of stuffin' my heart all full of pain i'd sober up and tell orly a new hobby she needs sorely if i only had a brain ♫

(transformative lyrics by aarrgghh)

tempus fuggedabbouddit

welcome to part three of a little screed originally provoked by this admittedly tongue-in-cheek new york times article blaming snafus plaguing our expensive new large hadron collider on gremlins from the future. all cheekiness aside, stories like this serve as fodder for the public's mindless love of the three great fictions of science fiction. part one raided the star wars' intergalactic cantina. part two pulled the plug on star trek's warp drive. today we take a time-out on time-honored time travel.

actually, "trek wars" fans get a bit of good news this time: time travel is possible. but that's good news only if you're looking for a one-way ticket into the future, because there ain't nothing else on the itinerary.

as pointed out in part two, gravity warps space, and since space and time are initmately bound (whence the term "space-time"), gravity also warps time. this has been demonstrated with atomic clocks, which run slower under gravity's influence. take this idea to its conclusion and you can "time-travel" by simply parking a spaceship next to any gravitationally intense object. neutron stars, white dwarfs and black holes are perfect. as you bask in the glow of the gamma ray death scream of interstellar matter spiraling past you into oblivion, events on earth will appear to flit by, but to those on earth monitoring your ship, you'll have entered a state of essentially suspended animation.

but wait — what if there are no black holes in the neighborhood? don't worry, einstein's theory of special relativity demonstrates that the effects of high-speed motion (acceleration) can simulate the effects of gravity for the traveler. we all experience this anytime we ride in a vehicle. when we speed up, we're pulled into our seat; when we cruise, we feel nothing (other than the normal pull of gravity, which we typically ignore), as we do when standing still; when we slow down, we're pulled out of our seat. so in lieu of finding a black hole, you can "time-travel" by simply stepping on the gas and not letting up. as you eventually approach the speed of light, you'll seem suspended in time to those left behind as your existence is extended thanks to relativity.

still, neither of these scenarios represent the sexy type of time-travel that "trek wars" fans love dreaming about: where they get to undo or avoid some remorseful event in the past, play the ultimate stock tip or become a b-movie actor:

sorry to disappoint again, but there ain't no going home. (and obviously not in 2004!) not only are there just as many practical theories about time-travel as there are about warp drives — that is, exactly bupkis — there's no evidence that time can travel backwards or that we can travel into the past. time's arrows fly in only one direction.

consider the definition of time: the interval between two events. if correct, in order to reverse time, we must reverse the events. consider a glass bottle, tossed from your hand to the trash bin. it hits the rim and shatters on the floor, sending pieces big and small everywhere. reversing time is therefore a humpty dumpty act; a time machine would have to retrace the trajectory of every shard as well as the trajectory of the intact bottle as well as the trajectory of your hand — that's a bit of a workout, isn't it?

actually, more than you can imagine, considering that your hand, the glass, the trash bin, the floor and the air surrounding them are all composed of a ginormous (you just knew that word was coming, didn't you?) menagerie of subatomic particles, all in constant motion and interaction. suddenly, the workload on our time machine just went up exponentially: it has to retrace the changes in the spin, vector, orbit, charge, vibration, etc., etc. — that is, every characteristic we can name, including those we have yet to discover — of every particle in that ginormous cloud of particles making up every object we're sending back in time. the machine would also need to isolate the cloud of particles comprising you the operator from its effects (it wouldn't do you any good to go back to 1976 and not remember that leisure suits actually sucked!), no small task if we have to account for the air moving in and out of your lungs, the hair and dandruff falling from your scalp, and the dust mites in your eyelashes!

now that's a workout! imagine trying to send a city or the entire planet back in time. and i suppose it would be just rubbing it in to point out that you wouldn't be able to send anything back before the date you first turned on your machine. (you wouldn't have any data!)

needless to say, no one has a clue how to reverse the order of events in our universe. relativistic physics allows us to play games with our perception of events, because our perception changes as we change our frame of reference, which affects when the light that originally captured the events finally reaches us:

changing our frame of reference changes the apparent distance (time) between the dots (events) on the timeline without affecting their order.

but just changing our frame of reference is like playing games with a film projector. speeding the film up, slowing it down or trying to run it backwards just ain't the same as manipulating the actual events it portrays — no more than photoshopping a image of yourself will get you back your hairline. that's voodoo. the two have nothing to do with each other. we might be able to play with the projector, but time's arrows fly on, unperturbed.

worth 1000 words

meet scott rothstein, soon to be adorning dictionary and thesaurus entries everywhere for the word "sleaze":

or better yet, don't meet him.

that is, if you could, since he seems to have vanished:

in a case already being compared to the bernie madoff affair, a lawsuit filed monday in broward county accuses south florida "super attorney" scott rothstein of bilking investors in a scheme run out of the powerful firm rothstein, rosenfeldt and adler, which now says it can't make payroll. an attorney for one investor told the south florida sun sentinel that the amount of money missing could be over $100 million, though it's not clear where it went. ... he's now out of town and possibly out of the country — no one knows where exactly — and the feds have reportedly shown up at his law firm offices. ... while all of the specifics of the the alleged fraud are not known, CBS 4 reports it may have involved both taking from client trust funds and setting up a side company to sell investments in structured settlements. those are arrangements in which payments are made over time rather than all at once, reaping tax benefits for the payee and allowing the payer to avoid having to come up with the lump sum upfront. ... the problem? some of the settlements rothstein sold didn't actually exist, according to the lawsuit.

ok, wait — sure, the guy's a crook, but c'mon, this is just run-of-the-mill embezzlement. so where's the beef? scottie needs to dig a little deeper if he's gonna be our new poster boy for sleaze, doesn't he?

not to worry, folks. let's just take a look at those "structured settlements" he's been hustling, shall we?

those documents say that rothstein's firm sought out sexual discrimination and whistle-blower cases and used former cops to dig up incriminating evidence. sakowitz, the potential investor, said rothstein boasted of having sophisticated eavesdropping equipment and that former cops would sift through potential defendants' garbage. with compromising evidence in hand, the firm urged the targets of the claims to pay a settlement without a public lawsuit.

and this literal bottomfeeder lied to his "investors" about those, too.

folks, i believe we have a winner!

---

sleaze |slēz|: noun
immoral, sordid, and corrupt behavior or material, esp. in business or politics
• informal: a sordid, corrupt, or immoral person; scott rothstein

size matters ii

a fun amateur animation:

certifigate: from hero to zero, in under 60

birther "drkate", october 29, 10:19 am:

two judges go tell it to the marines all men are created equal, is not simply misunderstood words in our declaration of independence, used to push new and bigger social programs that have nothing to do with equality. it is a truth that we as americans hold dear, but the greater truth of these words is in their application. all people are created equal, but the greater truth is what they do between birth and death that not only defines a person but in the end determines their value to posterity. it is true for average people as it is such in the case of federal justices. when one looks at two judges david carter and jerome simandle in the obama eligibility trials it is easy to see vast differences in them once you look past the black robes, even though they are equal in stature in the blind eyes of the law. in 1967 david carter had just graduated UCLA, and instead of continuing his education or applying for a commission in any of the armed services, a young david chose to be one of the few and the proud and enlisted in the united states marine corps. as a recipient of the bronze star and purple heart and a veteran of the battle of khe sahn, he left the marines not as a private but with the coveted mameluke sword, who’s origins go back to lieutenant o’bannon and the shores of tripoli. jerome simandle graduated from princeton in 1971, vietnam was still a meat grinder, although during june of that year the political tide had decidedly turned against the war. while many young graduates in 1971 found themselves with no other option than to wait to see if their selective service number would be picked in the next lottery, simandle some how found the means to leave the united states for the neutral country of sweden. was simandle a "draft dodger?" it is hard to say what went through his mind. the better question about simandle should be is he a coward? in this, i can give an opinion and say without a doubt i think he is a coward. i say simandle is a coward for his decision in the kerchner et al v. obama and congress decision of just a week ago. if we apply the words of chief justice marshall to simandle’s action we could also call him a traitor to the constitution. ... his country called on him twice in his life, and both times it appears jerome simandle ran away, with his head held high, but his tail between his legs. david carter had no doubts to his loyalty when his country called on him in 1967, he was a humble man who could have been commissioned an officer, but chose the mud filled boots of a grunt’s life instead of the clean sheets in a stockholm dormitory. obama and his minions now have a chance to tell his pitifully ever-changing nativity story to a marine, and me thinks that a true marine who knows where blood stripes comes from, really won’t give a rats ass for any pitiful excuse the DoJ may come up with. nor will any traitor find sympathy from a marine, as he would promptly show that traitor where in webster’s dictionary one can find sympathy in between that bodily excretion that sounds like a middle-eastern religion and that venereal disease al capone died of. now his country has called on him again, and i say "once a marine, always a marine" and judge carter will revert to lieutenant david o. carter and will charge to the sound of battle and not run away. judge carter, by the grace of our Creator you and jerome simandle came into this world equal in your nakedness, but we have seen the difference in what you both have done with the time allotted to you by that same Creator. the annals of history and the hopes of our national posterity now rest on how decide to leave your mark on your judicial career, as a US marine or an internationalist traitor. my only wish is that you remember our motto, semper fidelis!

commenter "sparks", 10:59 am:

i'm guessing you are unaware that judge carter granted the motion to dismiss this morning.

"drkate", 11:01 am:

i was unaware of that. my god.

"drkate", 2:14 pm:

i guess he is an internationalist traitor then, and certainly a traitor to the constitution. he did not remember the oath.

see also:

"from hero to zero"
"from hero to zero ... once more with feeling"

certifigate: from hero to zero

birthers, from july onwards, after learning that judge david o. carter, a former marine wounded and decorated in vietnam, had agreed to hear dentist-lawyer orly taitz' latest lawsuit against the kenyan usurper:

obama eligibility case will be heard on the merits !! please distribute everywhere. at the hearing today at the federal court building in santa ana, judge carter reportedly said the following: there will be a trial. it will be heard on the merits. nothing will be dismissed on proceedural issues. the trial will be expeditious, and the judge pledged to give case priority. being a former marine he realizes the importance of having a constitutionally qualified POTUS/CINC. judge stated that if obama isn't constitutionally qualifed he needs to leave the white house.

from what i have read he served at khe sahn, bronze star, purple heart, somehow i don’t think this one will be sweep under the rug.

khe sahn vet, bronze star, purple heart and USMC. uh oh.

i met this judge once, at a marine funeral. he was an infantry officer with first Bn, 9th marine regiment in vietnam. he seemed like a good man when i met him, i guess that hasn’t changed. marvelous.

i believe that we have the judge we were looking for! yes, i am beginning to agree. and, his resume sounds like a definite bonus.

i am sure some strategically placed federal stimulus money will take care of this judge. nope. we know him. bit of a stoic not after money or position an y more, and tough vietnam era guy. still has lots of military friends including in afghanistan. if we did not know him and his very positive mind sets and character traits we might also be having doubts.

i will be simply stunned speechless if this judge provides a ruling that opposes the ruling looters. never underestimate a former marine.

oh, and did i mention he's a marine?

♦ ♦ ♦

semper fi, judge. be sure to look all six ways before crossing the street.

the judge better have a food taster, a remote car starter, several private body guards, and a lucky rabbit’s foot or two. this is the chicago thugocracy he is dealing with.

i just hope the judge is armed and wearing a kevlar vest. obama may just order him taken out.

he has faced all that general giap, PAVN, could through at him. i doubt any long legged chicago mack daddy is going to intimidate him, or that weasel holder either.

i do not think judge carter will be intimidated after he fought and was wounded at khe sahn. a punk kenyan is not going to scare him.

i doubt judge carter fought and almost died at khe sahn to watch an islamo-usurper illegal alien take over in a coup.

what is it going to take to get this thing heard? not to worry, there is a certain U.S. district judge ( a marine ) in santa ana, CA who has already set for hearing: cook vs. obama. i expect the judge to rule, "president obama, i need to see your birth certificate." BIG SMILE

oh, and did i mention he's a marine?

♦ ♦ ♦

birthers, yesterday, after learning that judge david o. carter, a decorated former marine, granted the usurper's motion to dismiss their case:

i’m no lawyer, but it looks like the judge has been had. he granted the motion to dismiss the suit against zer0. he stated that over 69 million people wanted the usurper and he wouldn’t overthrow him. in saying so, he is also saying that the constitution is no longer in effect.

if he stated that the voters trump the constitution (in effect), then he’s not the upright jurist everyone was saying. mob rule.

this court will not interfere in internal military affairs nor be used as a tool by military officers to avoid deployment. the court has a word for such a refusal to follow the orders of the president of the united states, but it will leave the issue to the military to resolve. guess that’s the marine in judge carter speaking.

so, terrorists and illegal aliens have standing, but citizens, candidates for president, and military personnel do not... f*ck you, carter.

sounds like judge carter was more of a political patsy than a marine. bet the obama admin found out everything that was in carter’s closet...must be some underage boys somewhere

carter, who was appointed to the federal bench in 1998 by president bill clinton says it all.

court judge david carter is a clinton hoe kisser so it doesn’t come as a surprise.

carter has no honor.

i called judge carter & told him he was a coward and he left his military friends in the dark.

david o. carter was a marine once. now he is hussein’s little b**ch.

JUDGE DAVID CARTER, YOU HAVE JUST GIVEN YOUR LIFE TRAITOR!

you have sold your soul to the devil and our country to the communist-marxist regime of barrack hussein obama ... you have failed miserably to honor your oath to protect the constitution from all enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC. you are not a marine. you abandoned your code of conduct. you are a disgrace to the great name, MARINE! you have enlisted in the army of obama. may your cowardly actions haunt you when you awaken in the morning and look yourself in the mirror. may your wife and family be ashamed of you. may you remember your cowardly actions and false statements when you see a baby and think of the millions who will be murdered by abortionists while "we the people" pay for it.... you are not a man; you are a worm. you caved in under pressure. you failed your troops. you let your men down. you have to live with your dishonesty and cowardice. the Lord will judge you harshly for what you have done. there is a judgment day coming for you that you should be terrified of. when you stand before the Judge of All Men, you will have no plea bargain, no extenuating circumstances and no witnesses on your behalf. you are guilty of treason against the Constitution, the United States of America and the People. you are a co-conspirator of the worst sort — a coward. may the caring, patriotic citizens of america spit in your face.

oh, i just don't get it ... didn't somebody once mention this guy was a marine?

see also:

"certifigate: from hero to zero, in under 60"
"from hero to zero ... once more with feeling"

who, us?

faux fox news' bill o'reilly and bernie goldberg seem to be having a hard time understanding all the fingers pointing at their network:

o'reilly:

[time magazine's joe] klein writes, quote: "fox news peddles a fair amount of hateful crap. some of it borders on sedition. much of it is flat out untrue." unquote. but even though he has plenty of space, klein fails to illustrate his point, providing no examples of what he says is untrue ...

goldberg:

who exactly at fox news is inciting a rebellion against the government?

sigh.

this is just too easy.

keith? you wanna do the honors?

when another of the hannity faithful noted that armed insurrection and coups would be treason, someone else posted at hannity.com, quote: "only if the insurrection or coup fails." sean "you might want to check if this constitutes incitement to treason" hannity: today's "worst person in the world"!

the li'l engine that couldn't

welcome back, "trek wars" fans! i trust that my last rant, the first of three on science fiction's three biggest fictions (intergalactic relations, space travel and time travel), didn't leave you too demoralized, despite my sincere efforts to do exactly that. after all, we live among a potentially exciting galactic club with 100 million potential members, so it's a little shocking that nobody can actually get in the door. talk about "talk to the hand!"

the problem, of course, is that everyone's too damn far away, nobody's got wheels and half the hood's underage anyway. sending out the invites alone, traveling at the speed of light, would take 15,000 years just to get to our first date. if we're lucky. forget about rsvps.

but what about faster-than-light travel? what about "warp drive"? after all, everyone knows nobody walks in l.a.!

well, it's certainly the most popular and most seriously considered way to roll: all you have to do is create a "warp bubble" around your ship that allows it to compress space ahead of it and expand space behind it, exactly the way it's shown in the "next generation" intro.

so ... just exactly how does one create a warp bubble?

... crickets ...

or in more clinical terms:

no scheme that may allow travel at warp velocity has yet been devised that has also been accepted by mainstream science.... they give no knowledge as to how a warp bubble might actually be established.

an approach that may be facilitated by our present level of technological advancement has yet to be proposed.

but figuring it out is just a matter of time, amirite?

*if only* ...

by manipulating the extra spatial dimensions of string theory around a spaceship with an extremely large [translation: ginormous] amount of energy, it would create a "bubble" that could cause the ship to travel faster than the speed of light.

the energy requirements for some warp drives may be absurdly gigantic, e.g. the energy equivalent of 1067 grams might be required to transport a small spaceship across the milky way galaxy. this is orders of magnitude greater than the mass of the universe.

we know gravity warps space, as demonstrated by the bending of light around our sun. unfortunately, even the sun, whose gravitational binding energy is measured (in joules) by a six-comma-whatever-whatever followed by 39 zeroes, manages to deflect light only one quarter of a thousandth of a degree, which should give everybody a gobsmacking clue to the scale of the ginormous (there's that word again!) additional forces needed to generate the amount of warping needed to make our "warp bubble", a bubble powerful enough to compress 15,000 light years of space into a weekend jaunt! all we need is a warp engine capable of doing the work of a ginormous number of suns!

but hey, we'll have the most powerful fuel available in the universe — antimatter — feeding the engines, amirite?

again, sorry to disappoint; antimatter's powerful, no doubt ... but it should be obvious by now that it just doesn't have the bang we need. it's the law of diminishing returns, folks. we got the biggest bang for our buck sixty years ago when we figured out fission and fusion. compared to chemical energy, nuclear energy outperforms it by up to six orders of magnitude. but antimatter outperforms nuclear energy by only four orders of magnitude, not nearly ginormous enough to turn a one megaton ship into the gravitational energy-equivalent of a thousand suns. that's like an ant producing the power of a freight train!

and to the suffering bowels of the budget-conscious, antimatter does tend to give the bean counters indigestion:

antimatter is said to be the most costly substance in existence, with an estimated cost of $25 billion per gram for positrons, and $62.5 trillion per gram for antihydrogen. this is because production is difficult (only a few antiprotons are produced in reactions in particle accelerators), and because there is higher demand for the other uses of particle accelerators. according to CERN, it has cost a few hundred million swiss francs to produce about 1 billionth of a gram (the amount used so far for particle/antiparticle collisions).

... which, with no way to store it, tends to make it a little hard to come by:

assuming an optimal conversion of antiprotons to antihydrogen, it would take two billion years to produce 1 gram or 1 mole of antihydrogen ...

but "trek wars" fanboys and fangirls needn't succumb to dispair. the situation is actually quite encouraging if we can apply moore's law to problem: by doubling the production rate every two years, we'll have our first gram in only 60 years. in just another twenty years after that, we'll finally have our first kilo of the most expensive fuel ever pumped, and just in time for the machines to wipe us out.

next rant: time travel.

35 days ago

quote of the day

from the land of the free:

you might be orly taitz if ...

... you don't immediately nuke the latest jen-yoo-wine smoking gun kenyan birth certificate to slither out of your inbox.

size matters

ok, i'm calling bullshit on this story about spoilsports from the future screwing with our expensive new supercollider ... because production delays never happen to big projects. riiiight. talk about your lame excuses for failure!

now, i don't really need to call bs on this story in particular, since the reporter, who describes the storytellers as "otherwise distinguished physicists", sounds like he's already serving up his article on a platter of tongue, stuffed delicately in cheek.

still, it's shameless headline-grabbing stories like these, often the bastard child of some scientist's impish poke-in-the-eye and some journalist's laziness and gullibility, that continue to warp john and jane q. walmart's already rudimentary understanding of just what is and isn't possible in this universe. they've been left fat, lazy and loopy by a steady diet of star trek and star wars.

now don't get me wrong: i'm a huge fan of "trek wars" and science fiction in general (you should see my library) and i wouldn't be the armchair geek i am without their inspiration. on the other hand, i'm also a big fan of superhero comics. but the same folks who can generally grok that humans can't fly or deflect bullets or shoot lasers from their eyes, will tell you with no effort of thought that they believe the three great fictions of modern sci-fi: that aliens have or will visit the earth; that we'll return the courtesy after figuring out faster-than-light travel; that time-travel into the past is possible.

each of these fictions has already consumed more ink than i can practically devote to them, so i'm going to keep things short and sweet. today's rant covers alien races. there'll be no messy details, math, no greek and no quiz. i just want certain hard realities to sink in for once.

in the colorful dramasphere "trek wars" inhabits, the universe is as crowded as calcutta with intelligent races. here's a poem i once read in the philly weekly many years ago:

the only aliens we like are the ones on star trek 'cause they all speak english — martin espada, "gov. wilson of ca talks in his sleep"

ok, it's obvious that's a joke, but still, it's a big universe, right? we can't be the only ones here, can we?

most likely not. the ginormous size of the universe, its ginormous age and the ginormous number of stars in it make it pretty hard to argue against the universe performing multiple encores. in our own galaxy, one among 100 billion galaxies, people paid to study these things estimate 100 million suns like our own, which is considered pretty run-of-the-mill in size and age. that's 100 million rolls of the dice, which we know already hit the jackpot at least once. we're likely surrounded by extraterrestrials.

but there's a catch. (you knew there'd be a catch, didn't you?)

alas, the very same factors which make alien neighbors a virtual certainty — the ginormous size and age of the universe — make it impossible for any of us to ever meet. most folks hear the numbers and dumbly acknowledge them without attempting to truly appreciate their ginormous scale. others, like young earth creationists, simply refuse to accept them. the numbers are stupefying and, like a curt cabbie, they simply drop our tiny brains off with a terse "end o' the line, mac". creationists jumped out the ride after only 6,000 years.

in our own galaxy, those 100 million candidate suns are on average about 15,000 light years apart. we're about one million light years from our nearest neighboring galaxies and everybody's moving even further apart due to the continued expansion of the universe. these distances are inconceivably vast, beyond even the paid imaginations of the writers of "trek wars", who would have viewers believe that texting between the stars will be no more inconvenient than picking up your communicator and that traveling between them no more inconvenient than shuttling from boston to burbank.

but it's not so much a problem that the universe is "too big" per se: the real problem is that our lives are waaay too short! to appreciate the dilemma from a different perspective, consider the lowly housefly. it lives only a few weeks — what's the likelihood that a boston fly will ever meet a burbank fly, especially if neither knows the other exists or quite where to look? it's the proverbial needle-in-a-haystack — times gazillion! and even if both knew where to go, they'd be dead long before they could meet even halfway.

oh, and did i point out the ginormous age of the universe? 14 billions years and counting makes it unlikely that the lifespans of different alien civilizations will overlap during a period when they might be capable of communicating with each other. with your nearest neighbor just 15,000 light years away, you'll have to wait only 30,000 years for a reply. talk about a dull conversation!

remember, in the 4 billion years that life has thrived on earth, 3 billion of that stretch of time was dominated by mute, deaf and blind one-celled microbes, and of the last billion, over 99.99% had to elapse before we became capable of sending signals, much less leaving the planet. if earthlings are typical of the intelligent races in the galaxy, the law of averages eliminates half our prospective neighbors as too young to join the "trek wars" fan club, since they're still too busy pulling themselves out of the ooze. and the other half, sadly, may already be dead.

next rant: space travel